I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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