we have officially lost it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
