Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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