whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
3 2 1 whiskey
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
