so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
