I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
