the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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