it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
