There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I am morally bankrupt
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
