after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
