Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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