Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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