Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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