brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
