Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
and you fell through a lawn chair
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
