Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
