this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
