it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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