Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
