And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
