My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
