what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize