eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
FUCK WHALES
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