is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize