I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
