Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize