spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize