am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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