i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
