I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
