just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
