tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
