Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
