she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
this just has baby written all over it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
