i just google imaged poop.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
