we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
