You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
