I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
