Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I AM VODKA MAN
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
