Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
