Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
