pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
