I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
