Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
