Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
