we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
