I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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