I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize