Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Terrible idea I love it
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize