Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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