That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
