She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
