after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
