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..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
