On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
