I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize