I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
