were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
