here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
