omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
