Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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