if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize