I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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