p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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