dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
