Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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