While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
